


The value of our mark

by RaspberryDevil



Series: Tattoos, soulmates & new meetings [10]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Getting Together, M/M, Reassuring talks, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 19:43:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7187507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryDevil/pseuds/RaspberryDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In the end, Yahaba only wonders about one thing: his mark doesn't suit him. He was never more convinced of this than now, when he knew who his soulmate was, the wolf better fitting. And he hates this thought. Because he loves Kyoutani and not being enough for him – as a soulmate and friend – makes him feel anxious."</p><p>Nobody said it was easy to accept your mark. Yahaba learns it during his third year trough a misunderstanding and after more talks he wished they would have had sooner. </p><p>[Part ten of a Soulmate AU Series]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The value of our mark

**Author's Note:**

> As hinted in the KinKuni story, here is the Kyouhaba one! I reached the tenth story and to be honest I'm pretty proud to have come so far? Have fun with some KyouHaba!

Nobody questions it that Kyoutani stays behind longer after practise is over, not even Oikawa says something when he lingers back; they are a team but they still have trouble to stay one outside of the court when there is no volleyball to translate their emotions and desires. Back then, in his first year, Kyoutani used to go home without changing in the afternoon and he was the first one to go when it was morning practise, so it was the start of getting used to something.

Neither would want to destroy this progress by invading his privacy.

Sometimes though, Yahaba has the feeling that Oikawa knows more than they do and he wonders what it means, him holding back information he doubts even Iwaizumi knows anything about. But then he realises that he is almost worried and this is the last thing Yahaba wants to, especially with the upcoming Spring tournament. He is sure that he can always think about it when everything is over.

Unfortunately, everything being over comes sooner than he expected and yet, after the match against Karasuno, he feels something click, as if there is a gear finally working.

“I think I understand him better now”, Yahaba tells Watari after their loss, when the tears have already dried.

His friend understands what he means without going into detail; they are on the same page.

 

* * *

 

 

Shiratorizawa wins against Karasuno but lose on national level and Yahaba wonders what kind of monsters await them when they'll ever get past this last stage they were never able to pass so far.

 

* * *

 

The third years graduate and Yahaba takes over the captain position.

Being captain is on one hand harder than he thought and on the other hand not as scary as he imagined. Since this is Seijou, the new first years don't question him, take it as a given that the captain is worthy of his title. They listen to his and Kunimi's strategies and when he tells them to do something, they might complain but do it nevertheless.

What makes it difficult is how he has to hide when he isn't feeling well, can't show his own discomfort. It's hard putting on a mask and he is pretty sure that it doesn't go unnoticed. Pity keeps them from saying something. Probably. But even though they can tell that something is wrong, they don't know what it is.

It getting worse when Yahaba finds out what Oikawa had known about Kyoutani and they didn't.

He doesn't really intend on saying anything though. This is something the team isn't involved with and so he tries to ignore it instead, not let it affect his play. It doesn't work out like he wants to. As a consequence, he and Kyoutani can't seem to match and so he goes training with Kindaichi and Kunimi while Kyoutani focuses on his serves. It's a sudden break, but nobody dares to mention anything and it's not severe enough for the coaches to interfere. However it's there, boiling under the surface, ready to explode.

In the end, it's Watari who has to deal with it.

“Do I want to know why you are suddenly out of sync?”, he asks during practise, sighing when Yahaba doesn't make any effort to defend himself and simply shrugs.

Without repeating himself, the libero takes Yahaba by the back of his shirt and pulls him away from prying eyes in the corner of the gym. Hands on his hips, he stares Yahaba down, a stern expression which causes the other one to lower his head in order to avoid his gaze. They aren't close friends since long. They've met in their first year during practise and bonded over their strenuous upperclassmen, but outside of practise they began to meet up slowly and only at the end of their second year had Yahaba visited Watari for the first time. Still, Watari thought that they were close enough, enough time spend together to trust each other. Yahaba must have come to the same conclusion because he raises his head to look around, taking a deep breath.

“He's my soulmate.”

Watari hadn't expected that. Yahaba doesn't say a name, neither had he himself before, and yet it's obvious who they are talking about. Watari isn't stupid, knows that some people aren't keen on getting to know their match, but he had always assumed that Yahaba wasn't one of those, looking forward to meet this person instead. Had he underestimated him? Was the prospect of Kyoutani as his soulmate really such a hindrance? They were getting along, including the other third year in their group during lunch, accepted by the first years even – not to mention the slow growing admiration Kindaichi had for him.

Yahaba goes on, telling him how he found out because Kyoutani hadn't realised that Yahaba was still in the changing rooms when he had been undressing; a coincidence which leaves him wondering if there might have come a time when he would have trusted him enough to talk about his mark.

“At first I thought that he had known about it and is ashamed.”

Disappointed.

“But when I yelled at him for hiding it he was confused and yelled back.”

“And?”

“I showed him my back. He thought I was messing with him when he saw the tattoo.”

It's worse than any disappointment, the disbelief upon laying eyes on the wolf he carried on his back, the same Kyoutani had always seen when he had looked at it over the shoulder in the mirror.

“So, do you want to hear what a friend thinks about this or your teammate?”, Watari asks calmly, as if Yahaba hadn't just revealed anything, smiling when he hesitantly offers a “teammate?”

“You're the captain. It's your duty to watch over the other players. I bet you didn't even realise what's up with Kunimi, right?”

The silence is answer enough, so Watari continues.

“It's better for you. Either way you're platonic or romantic soulmates and it's better finding out about this now than never.”

“But I already know the answer for myself”, he mumbles, blushing when he realises that he said it out loud; he doesn't need to look at Watari to see the amusement in his eyes and a grin on his lips.

“Don't you dare to say something”, Yahaba hisses, cheeks still red, but before Watari can open his mouth and seemingly innocently declare that he didn't mean to say anything, they are interrupted.

“Coach is searching for you.”

Kyoutani looks at Watari when he talks to him as if he was ignoring Yahaba, not even sparring their setter a second glance. For a second Yahaba considers to call him out on it, but his own confession keeps him at bay while Watari sighs. It's like he was dealing with first years, and so he does the only thing which allows such a behaviour – threaten them.

“I tell coach that you got into a fight and then you have cleaning duty to talk about this. Or you talk now.”

Kyoutani glares at him, as if he wouldn't dare it, but Yahaba knows him better.

“Fine.”

At least he looks pleased with himself, Yahaba notes mentally when Watari leaves them behind in order to look for their coach. He doesn't really know what to say, but thankfully, Kyoutani does the talking.

“Your parents are soulmates and everything is fine, am I right?”

“How –”

“Only people who know how this bond feels are liberal enough to tell their children that the love is more important than the mark. My mother doesn't have a tattoo. And my dad never found his soulmate. And you hate me.”

“I don't hate you.”

It's the only thing Yahaba is capable to answer, doesn't believe that Kyoutani would tell him about his parents like that, worried about it.

“You yelled at me.”

“Because I thought you were hiding it. You always stay behind.”

“This has nothing to do with the tattoo, I just... ”

It takes Kyoutani a good portion of effort to say it out loud, but it helps him that Yahaba is not pushing, waiting for an answer.

“I don't like staying with everyone. It's... a personal think, okay?”

“Okay.”

It's a simple reply without any judging Kyoutani expected and Yahaba looks so happy that it throws him off-guard.

“What?”

“It's okay, you don't hate me”, he grins, smiling even when Kyoutani mutters that he can be annoying but hate was a strong word.

“Why are you so happy? Stop that, it's disgusting.”

“Sorry”, he says, but he is still smiling, especially when Kyoutani doesn't follow his threat and the tip of his ears redden instead.

 

*

 

After that day, everything goes back to normal and at the same time there is a shift. Their tosses are more accurate and Yahaba is in a good mood. But it's not until a misunderstanding that the news of them being soulmate makes its round; there had been no reason to hide it in the first place, though Yahaba had been worried that it might cause Kyoutani to retreat.

In the end, Yahaba only wonders about one thing: his mark doesn't suit him.

He was never more convinced of this than now, when he knew who his soulmate was, the wolf better fitting. And he hates this thought. Because he loves Kyoutani and not being enough for him – as a soulmate and friend – makes him feel anxious.

 

“How are you doing this?”, Yahaba asks out loud during a study session with Watari.

“Huh?”

“I mean... ah, whatever”, he grumbles, burying his face in the pillow and hoping that he will wake up again without this feeling of not belonging.

Of course he isn't granted that. As nice as people say Watari is, he won't hesitate to jump on him without a warning, eliciting Yahaba a yelp.

“You're heavy. Move.”

“Not a chance. Now tell me, you pitiful pitiful boy.”

“I hate you.”

“I know. Means I have nothing to lose and you your dignity.”

Yahaba sighs. Maybe talking would help. Not that he had a choice.

“As a child I was really proud of my tattoo. I mean a few had beautiful flowers and there was someone with a lion but a wolf was such a strong animal. I felt... special? Kind of. More like... lucky.”

And then he meet Oikawa who was the most amazing setter he got to know and there was no wolf, no snake or big animal but a small flower, one of the careful kind. It was the first blow.

“I'm not like him. I don't have raw talent.”

“I bet the first years would tell you otherwise. And the rest as well, captain. There is nothing wrong with you having a wolf, you have no reason to doubt your value because you think you're apparently not living up to the standard. Besides, there is more to our mark than the first glance makes us believe.”

 _But I did look at it_ , Yahaba thinks, _more than once_ , every time he needed to make sure that it's real, that there is no mistake or his own eyes betraying him. He doesn't say it though, only listening to Watari's last advice: “You meet your soulmate, maybe it's worth a second glance.”

Yahaba feels better after his friend's assurance, but even though Watari tells him to go and talk to Kyoutani, he can't bring himself to do just that. And as if to make matters worse, he is overwhelmed by the responsibilities again.

 

Since the regular former third years left, there aren't that many college students training with them. Sure, there are enough to boost with, but they are used to more than that and so Yahaba works on it in a different way. Practise matches with Karasuno are on his list, but due to their performance at the spring high, it's not possible until a few weeks down. But who they do manage to play against are Ohgiminami and Wakutani during practise matches.

And they are stronger than expected. Yahaba isn't one to take his opponents lightly, even though it can happen that he believes people when they say how a certain player acts on the court and ends up being surprised when this isn't true. Still, the match against Ohgiminami showed him that there are captains just like him who want to improve and are also partly driven my determination to win against Karasuno.

(It feels good in most of the sets and at the end of the day, he is sure to have connected a few dots.)

 

* * *

 

There are a lot of things Yahaba needs to learn about and when he finds out about Kunimi's soulmate, it's just one of many things.

 

* * *

 

“I like you.”

Yahaba doesn't think much when he says it. It's just him and Kyoutani at his place, intending to study – history which neither of them really likes – without any tension looming over them. Maybe this is the reason, Yahaba muses, how peaceful it is, Kyoutani sitting at the desk while Yahaba is reading on his bed.

At first, there is no reaction but eventually, Kyoutani turns around and just stars at him.

“Are you sure it's not because we are – ”

Yahaba interrupts him before Kyoutani has the chance to doubt him, before he can say what he feared to hear.

“Pretty sure.”

“But you –”

“Stop it, why can't you accept it instead of giving me excuses? This has nothing to do with our mark, I liked you before I knew it, okay? Why are you not believing me?”

“Because your gorgeous and I cant believe you'd actually want me.”

Yahaba wants to yell but when he sees the light blush he just stops, watching him.

“You're pretty tame for a mad dog”, Yahaba blurts out, didn't mean to say that, a habit to tease him, but at least Kyoutani is finally looking at him again.

“Why are you saying that know”, he hisses.

“Oh well, and the moment is over. What a pity, I would have kissed you.”

It seems like Kyoutani was actually interested in this thought, a sudden frown forming, but it's soon gone when Yahaba takes his face in his hand and kisses his forehead – he wants to do more, a kiss on the lips and hand on his waist, but he knows that Kyoutani isn't ready for that yet and the smile he gets is enough for him in that moment.

 

* * *

 

 

“Kunimi said that you have something to talk about”, are Kyoutani's first words when they enter Yahaba's room.

“Since when are you and Kunimi talking?”

They haven't, not really. He just had mentioned – when Kyoutani had passed him, directed at Kindaichi but loud enough for him to hear – that there are a few people who can't believe that they are friends, questioning whether Kyoutani is good enough for him.

(He had replaced friends with soulmates in his head and the thought of some truth behind the gossip made him sick – he didn't dare to replace it with boyfriend because the thought that this isn't accepted made it even worse)

“Does it matter?”

“It's nothing... just. It's stupid.”

At any other time, Kyoutani wouldn't have questioned it. But he had wondered about their relationship long enough, asking himself the same questions over and over again. Why Yahaba liked running his fingers along his back, outlining the black lines of the tattoo but was reluctant about Kyoutani doing the same. Why the person who introduced him to his parents as his soulmate looked tense when his mother smiled and told them that she expected a strong person like Kyoutani. And most importantly why they haven't talked about the mark in the first place when it has changed how they viewed each other.

“Liar. Tell me.”

Yahaba sighs. He really gives in too easily. Maybe he should re-evaluate his life choices.

“I'm not a wolf type of person. Maybe Iwaizumi-san was or you even, but me?”, he finally says, sitting down on the edge of his bed, leaving enough room for the other to join him – Kyoutani does, but in a different way when he expected

“What are you doing?”, Yahaba asks with a laugh when Kyoutani tackles him down, though he can't hide how embarrassed he is about it with the other one hovering above him.

“You didn't hesitate to yell at me when you thought I would fuck it up for the third years. Their goal is yours and you followed them against Karasuno without doubting their determination. You train so hard to meet everyone's expectation. You'd never think twice about your friends lying to you.”

_Loyal and devoted._

“After Oikawa left you took the new setter under your wing. Also you're the captain and take it upon yourself to lead us to nationals.”

_Guidance._

“Its my job to -”

“And if someone falters you put in extra work.”

It's too much, the praise and unusual attention Yahaba likes but can't deal with. And so his first instinct is to take him by his shoulders and switch their positions – he does exactly that, but it feels different. Had Kyoutani watched over him, so is Yahaba dominating him; he doesn't seem to mind though, looks up to him.

“And you're not just mentally strong. You do have power.”

Yahaba doesn't seem to believe him and so he goes on.

“You're very smart”, Kyoutani says with honesty, “good at strategies. All these things are associated with a wolf. Apart from the power, the mark doesn't fit _me_.”

This time it's Yahaba who doesn't seem to agree.

“You're the one who trained with Kindaichi because he felt like he wasn't good enough. And you haven't said anything about it. You even trained longer with him.”

“I –”

“You came back to us. Even though you didn't feel welcomed and we didn't make you feel welcomed, you stayed. It shows your loyalty towards the sport.”

“It's –”

“Remember the last practise match? You were the one who figured out that their spiker used straight when Kindaichi was at the front and crosses whenever he wasn't.”

“Not really difficult”, he grunts and finally Yahaba stops talking, but only to admire the slight blush on Kyoutani's cheeks, how he is the cause of it and promptly buries his face in the other one's neck

“I guess we're both stupid then”, Yahaba mumbles against his skin, rolling to the side so that the other one can move and they are able to look at each other face to face.

There isn't much they want to say. Even though they admitted to each other what had been weighting on their mind, it's still not easy to express their feelings. Never had been. And it's not just Kyoutani, Yahaba realises, who isn't used to intimate contact. He himself is also wary about sharing too much, scared of failing or destroying the relationship they have. But he won't, at least as long as they are talking about it.

Maybe after that Kyoutani will even have the courage to voice that he wants to touch his mark as well. And maybe Yahaba can tell him how much he wants to just hold him.

But for now, the step they made is enough.

 

* * *

 

 

“You seem happy”, Watari points out during lunch, looking between Kyoutani and Yahaba who sit shoulder to shoulder, listening to Kindaichi rambling about the new teacher – the second year had his mouth full with rice now though, which allows Watari to say what had been on his mind.

“Well, I'm not unhappy.”

Yahaba shrugs while Kyoutani does nothing but focus on his food. Watari is inclined to drop the topic, after all it's tiring to ask again and again, isn't eternally patient like many believe him to be. Kunimi comes to his aid though.

“Did you to make up?”

“We weren't fighting.”

“Oh, you weren't?”

Kindaichi sounds astonished and when Yahaba looks at him with a raised eyebrow, he sheepishly smiles, turning back to his meal to avoid giving him an answer as to why he believed that.

“Well, I guess we're done for today then. I need to study for a test tomorrow, see you later at practise”, Watari tells them, almost teases them about enjoying their double date but thinks better of it.

“Sure.”

“Ah, right, I almost forget”, Yahaba suddenly remembers when Watari is gone, “after practise I'm going to invite you to some pork buns, if you like.”

Kunimi raises an eyebrow, suspiciously, wondering why he would do that. Kindaichi on the other hand smiles, likes spending time with the older one's though before he can agree, he seems to recall something.

“The last time you offered to invite us to something, we found out about Kunimi's soulmate.”

“Do you know another Kunimi?”

“No?”

“Well”, Yahaba smiles, “I guess it's settled then.”

Without giving him a chance to protest, Yahaba stands up and leaves with Kyoutani in tow. Kunimi sighs, dragging the attention of a bewildered Kindaichi.

“That's my fault for helping out.”

“Huh?”

“Ah, it's nothing.”

Next time, Kunimi thinks, he won't get himself involved with neither Watari nor Yahaba and Kyoutani. He is really sick of all these people unable to deal with their soulmates.

(A year later, when they find out about Kindaichi's soulmate, he realises it's not that easy and wants to scream.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> I think humans like to give things meanings and so there would be different people trying to assign characteristics to a mark and I thought why not explore this a bit more, how a character might feel about its own tattoo. Also to show you guys that even though some characters which might not seem to fit at first glance are more compatible than you think.
> 
> Wolf – Loyalty/Devotion, Luck, Guidance/Guardianship, Predatory Power, Intelligence, Compassion


End file.
